Friday, July 29, 2016

Professional Left Podcast #347

"If your opponent is of choleric temper, irritate him."
--   Sun Tzu, The Art of War



Don the Con Talks To Murrica About Flags (And Other Scary Wingnut Bedtime Stories): Update

072916 Update:  He is telling exactly this same ridiculous, debunked lie again right now as all the cable stations revert to type and cover him wall-to-wall.  He literally cannot stop himself and he obviously does not have anyone on his staff with the huevos to tell Il Douche that his is shitting the bed again.

Among the many, many, many unhinged lies that issued forth from the lie-hole of Donald J. Trump this morning (including an open plea to the Russian government to hack the United States in order "to find the 30,000 'missing emails from Hillary Clinton’s personal email servers" on order to screw his political opponent) this was oddly my favorite:
“Despite the police platitudes, she’s been a mess,” Trump said. “They don’t have an American flag on the dais until we started complaining..."
Because nothing so clearly demonstrates the direct, main-line connection between the subterranean gibberings of the denizens of the dankest corners of the wingnuttia and the mind of the Republican nominee for president than this kind of throwaway claptrap that litters his ramblings. Because this particular lie exists nowhere except the open digital sewers where Don the Con goes shopping for his "news"(and in 100 future ALL CAPS emails from Crazy Uncle Liberty.)

From Snopes:
Several other right-wing web sites known as purveyors of misinformation, such as The Gateway Pundit, Barenaked Islam,and The Daily Caller also published articles reporting that no American flags were present at the DNC:
The Daily Caller is at the Democratic National Convention and it doesn’t look like there are any American flags.

The stage is bland and grey, with no red, white or blue present. A thorough look at the crowd present also turns up no American flags.
For the record, among the many, many other examples here was Bobby Hill singing the national anthem at the opening of the DNC:


Once again and for fuck's sake, will anyone who lists themselves as a "journalist" on their W2's and has access to this lunatic and isn't a hired quisling like Jeffrey Lord please bother to ask him just once where specifically he gets his claptrap.

And when he doesn't answer, ask him again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Update:  For the record, slandering the patriotism of Democrats by lying about flags has always been one of the go-to lies of the Party of Jefferson Davis.

From me, back in 2011:
The Republican's Patriotism Problem

As the Right made abundantly clear during the 2008 Presidential campaign, there is one and only one true test of a patriot -- one and only Shibboleth for loving the land of the Free and home of the Brave more than the common run of citizen,

Now, I don't pretend to understand all the "science" behind it, but apparently flag pins are to secret America-haters exactly like holy water is to a vampire, or silver is to a werewolf, or questions about what newspaper you read are to Caribou Barbie...

And of course in 2012, the hysterical twats at Fox News were furious that the American Olympics team wasn't nearly flag-wavey enough to meet their standards of patriotism.

Postgame: The Philly Festival of Optimism and Faith vs. The Craven Cleveland Clusterf#ck

Back in April (remember April?) before the rough winds of objective reality finally blew the last of the darling buds of #NeverTrump to ash, you might recall that Donald Trump was having big big fun mocking the RNC for running such dumb, boring conventions. What they needed was a little Trump-brand show biddnizz! (emphasis added):
Compounding the challenges facing organizers are the expectations of Donald Trump, who asserted in an interview that he should have at least partial control over programming, stagecraft and other issues by virtue of his front-runner status — even if he does not have the delegates to secure the nomination beforehand.

Trump blasted the GOP’s last convention, in Tampa four years ago, as “the single most boring convention I’ve ever seen.” The billionaire real estate mogul and reality-television star said it was imperative that this year’s gathering have a “showbiz” quality — and he cast doubt on the ability of the Republican National Committee, which oversees the convention, to deliver.

“It’s very important to put some showbiz into a convention, otherwise people are going to fall asleep,” Trump said in a 45-minute interview here last week in his Trump Tower office. “We don’t have the people who know how to put showbiz into a convention.”
And so it should come as no surprise that,  like every other failed Trump enterprise, now that Donald Trump's Nuremberg on the Cuyahoga* is in the books as a catastrophe -- an entirely avoidable catastrophe -- Don the Con wants to jet the hell away from the disaster he created and leave it to other poor schmucks to clean up his mess (emphasis added):
It might have been a less notable contrast if Mr. Trump’s show had not been such a break from the tightly scripted performance that has come to typify these conventions. In Cleveland, an important endorser, Senator Joni Ernst of Iowa, started speaking after the broadcast networks had already moved on to local news (Republican Party officials argued Thursday that they should have shown her instead); Mr. Trump called in to “The O’Reilly Factor” while Patricia Smith was speaking emotionally onstage about her son’s death in the Benghazi attack; and one night’s program ended prematurely, leaving precious prime-time minutes unused.

Asked about the differences, Mr. Trump said he could not speak to them with much specificity, because “I didn’t produce our show — I just showed up for the final speech on Thursday.”
Meanwhile as the Democrats enjoy the warm afterglow of the most brilliantly staged, humane, optimistic, generous and inclusive convention in memory, the usual suspects are doing the usual things.

Counterprogramming Khizr Khan's moving tribute to his fallen son with one more shitty little Benghaaazi hit job:
Fox News Plays Benghazi Commercial Over Khizr Khan's Anti-Trump Speech At The Democratic National Convention

Fox News Plays Katy Perry Song After Khan Leaves Stage
Obsessing over allegedly missing flags:
Don the Con Talks To Murrica About Flags (And Other Scary Wingnut Bedtime Stories)
Obsessing over allegedly missing flag pins:
NC Gop Gets Tim Kaine's Flag Pin Horribly Wrong [UPDATED]
Even more obsessing over allegedly missing flag pins:

America's premiers crackpot reverse-mortgage hero whispering darkly of the Terrible Sekrit Liberal Media Conspiracy that keeps the ALL CAPS TRUTH away from the Murrican People:

And projectile vomiting Republican-brand racism all over everything:

To his marginal credit, even a shitbag as capacious as Erick son of Erick finally could not supress his gag reflex any more:
Perhaps someone could scare up the address of the cave in which Erick son of Erick has been living and writing horrid things on the wall in his own poo for the last decade and start forwarding to him some of the email I see every fucking day.

Meanwhile, despite his temporary shock at how deranged the Republican Party suddenly became 10 minutes ago, The Sad Clown of Centrism clearly knows which side his bread is buttered on (spoiler: It's Both Sides!)

*I checked and found that I probably lifted this Melania Trump-style from bowtiejack in my own comment section, who was passing it on from somewhere else.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

The Reaction from the Right To President Obama's Speech

Was swift and predictable...

The Mercy Rule

 (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)
(Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)

A mercy rule -- also known by the terms slaughter rule, knockout rule and skunk rule -- brings a sports event to an early end when one team has a very large and presumably insurmountable lead over the other team. It is called the mercy rule because it spares the losing team the humiliation of suffering a loss by an even larger number of points.

-- Wikipedia 

By the time a hero astronaut had introduced his wife, a hero congresswoman, it was over.

By the time a Marine and a Navy man had both validated Hillary Clinton's Commander-in-Chief card, it was over.

But then came Uncle Joe Biden, roaring out on his Harley and red-white-and-blue jumpsuit, whipping his Ray Bans off and and leading the crowd in a rousing chorus of "USA!USA!".

And then the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace made itself manifest in the person of Michael "No Labels" Bloomberg.  And the Invisible Hand was swinging a 100 foot Vorpal Sword with which he proceeded to gleefully lay about the Terrible Orange Jabberwocky:
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.
Then came Tim "Martin Minivan Buren" Kaine who made us all scrambled eggs and cracked us up with his goofy-dad Donald J. Trump impressions while cheerfully name-checking...
Social Justice
The Nobility of public service
and the United States Marine Corps.
It was over.  It was over.  It was so over.

And then the sweetest, funniest, feistiest Gold Star Mom and school board member straight from Frank Capra central casting in the world walked up to the microphone to introduce her president.  The speech that President Obama delivered after her introduction is already being translated into every language on Earth, shared on every media site and will be studied by school kids on our Martian colonies a century from now, so since you can find it anywhere (and rightly so) let us instead give the floor of this tiny blog to Mrs. Sharon Belkofer of Rossford, Ohio:

It was over.  It was already so over.

And then President Obama delivered what I can best describe as the "Morning In America" speech Abraham Lincoln might have given at the end of his second term had a radical Christian white supremacist not cut him down in one of the greatest acts of domestic terrorism in American history.

Day Three of the DNC was, collectively, the most comprehensive political beat-down I have ever seen.

Will it budge Hillary Clinton's numbers?  Probably.  A little.  A few points.  But probably not more than that.  The election will still be a close thing because we are now an irrevocably riven country.  A House Divided, not between honestly-held contending philosophies which argue back and forth in good faith, but between a hateful, paranoid mob who have been reduced to mindless beasts by 20 years of Fox News/Hate Radio taking a dump in their skulls every single day...

...a contentious concatenation of Liberals and Progressives who work each in their own way to leave this country a little better than we found it and who have been warning that this day of reckoning would come for 20 years...

...and a timorous band of Both Siderist children, moral cowards and professional jellyfish whose only dogma is mindless fidelity to the delusion that what they see happening right in front of them cannot possibly be happening.  Who would travel 1,000 miles just to find a fence to straddle. Whose holy mantra is that somewhere under the gargantuan steaming pile of shit that is the Republican Party there must be a pony, and that somewhere in the Haight-Ashbury of their imagination, some Dirty Hippie is probably doing something right now that is somehow as equally and oppositely disqualifying as Paul Ryan or Mike Pence or Trey Gowdy or Donald J. Trump.

And this is the ground the Republican Party abandoned when they decided to give up on the very concept of self-government, and instead chase the Kenyan Usurper from Death Panel to Benghaaaazi, and give their base permission to let their racist freak flags fly.  

This middle place -- this small town, hard-hit-but-hopeful, church-going, duty, honor, country place -- is what the Republicans ceded so that they could build the Golden Calf of their dreams out of an Orange Con Man who has all the best words.

On Day Three of the DNC, the Democratic Party orchestrated an extremely effective land, sea and air invasion of this middle place.  They established a beachhead there, and unless they fuck up very badly, for the next three months the campaign will be slugging it out from hedgerow-to-hedgerow in a Battle for the (how it hurts me to say this) Sensible Center.  And that campaign will be fighting against the collective muscle memory and professional instincts of the Beltway Both Siderists who are desperate to turn this back into a mindless horse-race between equally flawed minions of the Corrupt Duopoly.  

Which is why the Mercy Rule cannot be invoked.  Because however soaring the rhetoric or overwhelmingly damning the evidence may be, at least 40% of our fellow citizens will be going to the polls in November to cast a vote for Donald J. Trump.  

And between now and then it will be our job to confront the children, moral cowards and professional jellyfish who want to go right on cowering in the Both Siderist spider hole hoping this will all blow over.  To whang away at them over and over again with brutal truth that Donald Trump is not merely a disaster because he is an unhinged racist lunatic -- he is a disaster because he is the manifestation of the unhinged racist lunacy that is at the very core of Republican Party as it exists today, here and now.

Our job is to leave them no place to hide. 

And to do it with a smile on our face, a song in our heart and a beer in our hand.  

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Bernie In Heaven

Bernie: These people.  I love 'em, you know.  They have good hearts and they worked so hard.  But the minute I told them some hard truths they didn't want to hear --
"Any objective observer will conclude that -- based on her ideas and her leadership -- Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States," Sanders told delegates, spurring a cascade of cheers.

He spent the following morning meeting with individual state delegations to carry his message forward and continuing to counter resistance toward Clinton. Sanders chastened California delegates who booed his call for party unity Tuesday.

"Our job is to do two things -- to defeat Donald Trump and to elect Hillary Clinton," Sanders said, adding later, "It is easy to boo, but it is harder to look your kids in the face if we are living under a Trump presidency."
-- a bunch of them basically kicked me out of a movement that they had named after me.

Jesus:  Tell me about it.

#NeverHillary In One Pic

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Senator Al Would Pretty Please Like Journalists To Do Their Fucking Jobs

Conspicuously absent from this little colloquy were most of MSNBC's most egregious serial offenders against journalism.

But I'm sure once they get word that Senator Al would like them to quit shitting all over the basic principles of their profession, they'll give up their profitable sinecures --
In the rank sweat of an enseam├Ęd bed,
Stewed in corruption, honeying and making love
Over the nasty sty
—and get back to the business of bravely afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted.

I'll be over here, waiting.

Another Sweet $115 Payday For The Sad Clown of Centrism

As I mentioned back in May...
A random cabdriver told me that every time Ron Fournier uses the phrase "corrupt duopoly", Michael Bloomberg pays him $115.
That's pure journalism people, Pure journalism.  Bask in it.

And so, given what we know about the astronomical cost of hookers and tequila room service and bathing caps in conventions cities when the circus comes to town, and given that the end of the month is fast upon us, it is no surprise the Sad Clown of Centrism might be coming up a little short right now and need to hit that sweet, sweet Bloomberg ATM one more time before the "maid" comes with "fresh towels".

UPDATE (thanks to alert reader "RG"):

Not to be squeezed out of his place at the Both Siderist trough, the 173rd most redundant pundit in America, Matthew Dowd, weighs in...

Monday, July 25, 2016

Vlad the Inveigler

On one side of the Left blogosphere, it is at least worth mentioning that Vladinear Pootnum does, in fact, have a dog in our electoral fight.  From Digby, whose absence was keenly felt at this year's Netroots Nation:
The Don loves Vlad
One the other side of the Left blogosphere, it is not only unthinkable that "The DNC is a hot partisan mess" and "Edward Snowden's landlord/employer/overseer is meddling with our elections" might very well both be true statements, it is unalloyed McCarthyism to even suggest such a thing.  

So glad this is all above my pay-grade.